Awful.

It sucks when you find out everythings a lie.

Alone.
Without him.
Forever.


I don't want to get into it but the main thing I feel is confusion.
I loved him? & now I hate him.
I wanted him to fix it but I wanted him to leave.

The images of what I didn't see haunts me.
And his words that expressed he couldn't do anything to change it... taunt me.

I made sure not to see him leaving because I didn;t want that to be a vision I couldn't get out. I just turned my head until I heard the door shut.

It sucks because now I know what it all really feels like and its awful.

Watching From Hell. & hoping this movie will cheer me up. I remember not liking it but I was 12... So maybe now I'll think its good. Got Johnny Depp, murders, and whores.. what else could I ask for..