Awful.

It sucks when you find out everythings a lie.

Alone.
Without him.
Forever.


I don't want to get into it but the main thing I feel is confusion.
I loved him? & now I hate him.
I wanted him to fix it but I wanted him to leave.

The images of what I didn't see haunts me.
And his words that expressed he couldn't do anything to change it... taunt me.

I made sure not to see him leaving because I didn;t want that to be a vision I couldn't get out. I just turned my head until I heard the door shut.

It sucks because now I know what it all really feels like and its awful.

Watching From Hell. & hoping this movie will cheer me up. I remember not liking it but I was 12... So maybe now I'll think its good. Got Johnny Depp, murders, and whores.. what else could I ask for..

Oh Venti Latte...

I knew I'd regret the iced venti soy caramel latte from starbucks...
I'm in the back row of class with no way out and have to pee prettttty badly!!

Only a half hour left.. I can not even pay attention - not that i do usually lol but still!

Damn you small bladder!

I just finished the last (10th) Princess Diaries book. I started rereading them this summer? Really that was so long ago! But I haven't been reading every day or every week, obviously.
But I finally finished the series and its so sad! To be done with the books! Except I'm not really, because Mia (from the book) wrote a romance novel that is actually out on shelves, so I have that to read and maybe she will pick the series back up? Who knows!

Anyway, choosing the next book to read is always a hard challenge. I went from reading a young adult princess book and have started a "paranormal romance" as it is labelled. This book is also last in the series, "Honeymoon of the Dead." I started it the moment I finished the last one and it was interesting but kinda draggy.
I was also debting the Eclipse novella, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner but I don't think I am in the mood to read Stephanie Meyer, although it is short...
There's also another book I got for Christmas that is by the same romance author as above but its her young adult book... Perhaps that would be a better switch to supernatural - since that seems to be the remaining themese in the books I have.

I'll have to test it out later today. Sample each book and pick one.

March!

Even though February was a good month for me, I'm happy its over.
March = spring time!
Also I am allowed to breach the subject of dating with Peter in about 14 days.

I applied to several jobs at The Cary Institute of Ecosystem Studies near my house. 2 of them have to do with studying lyme disease and field work, while anotehr one has to do with the study of the Hudson River and mussels? I'm not sure. I don't care what I get it'll look good on a resume etc, close to home, and probably pays well. It's also fulltime which is good so I am not sitting in the house all summer and hate being there.