I came home, the first time in a month, to my new fish babies, and fish.
Only to:
1. See that both tanks were dirty.
2. Find a dead fish floating at the top of my adult tank
3. Notice that there was only ONE fish now left in my adult tank out of 5 when I left.
4. See that the last remaining fish has ich.
So with this information I got mad that my mom wasn't telling me that the fish were dying. I knew one died but not 4 although, she claims 2 and the one that died tonight.. So a fish is missing according to her.
I then proceeded to look for this parasite medicine I had, which didn't think would work but I wanted to read the box. It's been lying around the basement forever only now its missing.
I then decided to take out the last fish and clean the tank. Hoping that the ich would go away too. At least in the water, I knew I'd have to get medicine in the morning regardless.
After taking out allllll the water and cleaning it, the Ich remained. I felt really bad putting the fish back in that water but I don't have another tank and it is the only one left. :\
I then took on the job of cleaning the baby tank. So far no Ich in there. Thank goodness because they are my only chance for survival of my guppy family tree. Next time I come home I'll have to try to find a healthy male fish at the store so hopefully they will have babies again and also that way I don't have any imbreeded fish.
I'm just so mad my mom didn't tell me. And I have been home since 10:30 and have been doing this for the past 2 1/2 hours!!
And as much as I want to take them back with me even more now... I guess I will leave them before causing them any more stress by taking them in a bumpy car ride :(
Friday, February 25, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
I hate my life, voila.
I’ve learned many things in college.
How to shotgun a beer and smoke without setting off the fire alarm.
But my most favorite thing I learned, and yet least favorite at the same time is how to deal with a broken heart.
Prior to college, relationships are simple despite how complicated they may appear to be. In college, everyone has a past, and if they don’t they are usually pretty serial killer scary. I can’t speak for everyone but my college love was superb. It lasted a whole four months. It was real. We felt it. We loved it. We cherished every minute of it, waiting for it to come to its bitter end. Which it did, of course, that’s how it always goes isn’t it?
It started off like every college relationship, I mean, hook up. We drank together, we laughed together, and laid in bed together. We had a fun time that night, but I knew my rightful place, and left shortly after at an early 7 am. That weekend to follow, was my favorite of all. We spent every moment together……….
Wait a minute, but it ended?? What was it that went wrong? I keep blaming myself for not being pretty enough, or skinny enough, or blond, or flirty. Then I realized, I am all those things. Well, not blond, but my point is still there. Some people just don’t deserve great things. And it’s clearly not my fault that he didn’t realize it sooner. Or he didn’t cherish it. That he went out and ruined it while I was drinking with him and our friends. That he ignored me. That he shot me down. That he was a pathetic mess. I am not to blame.
I don’t care how pretty she is, or how high you were, or how intoxicated you were. You had a girl in front of you, that you had for four months. But you shushed her up and pushed her away for a girl you barely talked to. And who quite honestly, would not in a million years, be with you.
I was doing you a favor. Making you look worthy of girls, in general. I was helping you not be so fucking pathetic. I guess you let it go to your head. Sorry, I just have low standards but most girls don’t. You won’t get that girl because she won’t settle for a grade below her. And quite honestly, I won’t either. I don’t need to settle, for a guy like you, when I can get a guy a 100000x better, who won’t try to get with other girls.
Your birthday and valentine gifts, are in a garbage by the door. I guess that’s what they are after all, right? Garbage. Pointless things you got me for what reason? Because you were fucking me? I don’t need your gifts. I don’t need your time at all. Guess what. Out of all the orgasms you’ve given me. I faked about 95% of them. I have had better. And quite honestly, most of the times I just got bored. Hence the faking. I just wanted it to be over. And I didn’t want to share my bed with you. I wanted you to get the fuck out. Cuddling is for people who like each other. And you never liked me, and now I do not like you.
So get the fuck out of my life. I never want to speak to you again. I never meant anything as much I mean this. What kills me more, is that you will never be man enough to explain. You won’t come and try to plead your case. You won’t talk to me in person. Because you know why? You’re a coward. And what’s worse than a cowardly man? Nothing. It is the worst. I can do much better than a cheating coward. Easily. You claim all the girls you’ve gotten, I’ll call your bluff. You want proof of mine? Look around you. I’m not proud of it, but the truth is, you’re just one of many and I’ve hurt this way before. I’ve loved this way before. You couldn’t really hurt me any worse than I’ve already felt.
I’m sitting here writing this because I can’t sleep. I would much rather punch you in the face or scream at you. I would much rather do a thousand other things to you, than sleep. Because I’m so heart broken. Except, I call bluff on myself. I know that once I do fall asleep, and wake up sometime tomorrow that I will feel better. That my heart will be mended and I won’t hate everything so much. I may even forgive you for being a greedy, worthless pig. Maybe. But I know that I won’t be blaming me anymore. That I’ll feel renewed at the fact that I can get any boy I want and that you are not worth the challenge anymore. I’ve grown bored of your self loathing games. I want a man who can stand up for himself, plead his case, take me out, and want to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
I won’t need you in the morning.
I hope you got a good look of me last night, because seeing you will be the last thing I do.
How to shotgun a beer and smoke without setting off the fire alarm.
But my most favorite thing I learned, and yet least favorite at the same time is how to deal with a broken heart.
Prior to college, relationships are simple despite how complicated they may appear to be. In college, everyone has a past, and if they don’t they are usually pretty serial killer scary. I can’t speak for everyone but my college love was superb. It lasted a whole four months. It was real. We felt it. We loved it. We cherished every minute of it, waiting for it to come to its bitter end. Which it did, of course, that’s how it always goes isn’t it?
It started off like every college relationship, I mean, hook up. We drank together, we laughed together, and laid in bed together. We had a fun time that night, but I knew my rightful place, and left shortly after at an early 7 am. That weekend to follow, was my favorite of all. We spent every moment together……….
Wait a minute, but it ended?? What was it that went wrong? I keep blaming myself for not being pretty enough, or skinny enough, or blond, or flirty. Then I realized, I am all those things. Well, not blond, but my point is still there. Some people just don’t deserve great things. And it’s clearly not my fault that he didn’t realize it sooner. Or he didn’t cherish it. That he went out and ruined it while I was drinking with him and our friends. That he ignored me. That he shot me down. That he was a pathetic mess. I am not to blame.
I don’t care how pretty she is, or how high you were, or how intoxicated you were. You had a girl in front of you, that you had for four months. But you shushed her up and pushed her away for a girl you barely talked to. And who quite honestly, would not in a million years, be with you.
I was doing you a favor. Making you look worthy of girls, in general. I was helping you not be so fucking pathetic. I guess you let it go to your head. Sorry, I just have low standards but most girls don’t. You won’t get that girl because she won’t settle for a grade below her. And quite honestly, I won’t either. I don’t need to settle, for a guy like you, when I can get a guy a 100000x better, who won’t try to get with other girls.
Your birthday and valentine gifts, are in a garbage by the door. I guess that’s what they are after all, right? Garbage. Pointless things you got me for what reason? Because you were fucking me? I don’t need your gifts. I don’t need your time at all. Guess what. Out of all the orgasms you’ve given me. I faked about 95% of them. I have had better. And quite honestly, most of the times I just got bored. Hence the faking. I just wanted it to be over. And I didn’t want to share my bed with you. I wanted you to get the fuck out. Cuddling is for people who like each other. And you never liked me, and now I do not like you.
So get the fuck out of my life. I never want to speak to you again. I never meant anything as much I mean this. What kills me more, is that you will never be man enough to explain. You won’t come and try to plead your case. You won’t talk to me in person. Because you know why? You’re a coward. And what’s worse than a cowardly man? Nothing. It is the worst. I can do much better than a cheating coward. Easily. You claim all the girls you’ve gotten, I’ll call your bluff. You want proof of mine? Look around you. I’m not proud of it, but the truth is, you’re just one of many and I’ve hurt this way before. I’ve loved this way before. You couldn’t really hurt me any worse than I’ve already felt.
I’m sitting here writing this because I can’t sleep. I would much rather punch you in the face or scream at you. I would much rather do a thousand other things to you, than sleep. Because I’m so heart broken. Except, I call bluff on myself. I know that once I do fall asleep, and wake up sometime tomorrow that I will feel better. That my heart will be mended and I won’t hate everything so much. I may even forgive you for being a greedy, worthless pig. Maybe. But I know that I won’t be blaming me anymore. That I’ll feel renewed at the fact that I can get any boy I want and that you are not worth the challenge anymore. I’ve grown bored of your self loathing games. I want a man who can stand up for himself, plead his case, take me out, and want to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
I won’t need you in the morning.
I hope you got a good look of me last night, because seeing you will be the last thing I do.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Birthday, in a series of Horoscopes.
My horoscope today! I've been waiting all year to read the "If todays your birthday:" so here it is:
Happy Birthday! You are inspired to make changes to your health habits, especially where they make you feel more beautiful. Small adjustments to your routines bring more pleasure and fun into your life. It will be a great year, enjoy!
DAILY HOROSCOPE: We often associate love with romance, but philosophers since ancient times have identified many forms. Whether its love of family, friendship, self-value, or partnership, I do think there are many ways we can experience care and appreciation. It will be a great day, enjoy!
Aquarius Horoscope: Synthetic flowers create permanent beauty, but they don’t smell like the real thing. You may be trying to create something long lasting. However, there is a rare beauty in what must change. Appreciate the brilliance available now, even if you don’t know if it will last.
Happy Birthday! You are inspired to make changes to your health habits, especially where they make you feel more beautiful. Small adjustments to your routines bring more pleasure and fun into your life. It will be a great year, enjoy!
DAILY HOROSCOPE: We often associate love with romance, but philosophers since ancient times have identified many forms. Whether its love of family, friendship, self-value, or partnership, I do think there are many ways we can experience care and appreciation. It will be a great day, enjoy!
Aquarius Horoscope: Synthetic flowers create permanent beauty, but they don’t smell like the real thing. You may be trying to create something long lasting. However, there is a rare beauty in what must change. Appreciate the brilliance available now, even if you don’t know if it will last.
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